When to Divorce is an E-Book that takes a look at what divorce is, what it isn’t, and how to know if divorce is the solution for your marital problems. You shouldn’t divorce until you have turned over every stone and investigated every avenue possible to save your marriage.
When to Divorce will help you make an informed, knowledgeable decision about whether to divorce or not.
You should NEVER divorce until you have a full comprehension of the emotional, financial and legal aspects of divorce. The decision to divorce should not be made until you have no unfinished emotional baggage between you and your spouse. Divorce is not a step to take until you have researched, planned and prepared yourself financially and legally.
Divorce means developing a new relationship with your spouse, a changed relationship with your children and alters your lifestyle. If you are not ready for these changes, you are not ready for divorce.
In When to Divorce I guide you through the process of deciding whether or not divorce is the solution for your marital problems. You will learn about…
√ The Emotional Aspects of Divorce:
- Are you at the point of no return?
- Are you better off without your spouse?
- Are you ready to leave?
- How will friends and family respond?
- Can you take responsibility for your role in the marital problems?
- Can you deal with loneliness?
- How will you handle conflict with your ex should you divorce?
√ The Financial Aspects of Divorce:
- What will the financial consequences of divorce be?
- Who will get the house?
- Who will pay the marital debt?
- How will you cover your monthly expenses post-divorce?
- Do you know how marital assets and debts are divided?
- Have you considered long-term financial impacts to yourself and your children?
√ The Legal Aspects of Divorce:
- How is custody of children decided in your state?
- How is child support determined under your state’s divorce laws?
- How does the court divide marital property?
- Can I move to a new location after divorce?
- What do I need to know before hiring a divorce attorney?
- Who has to move out of the marital home?
- What is divorce mediation?
No one should make a life altering decision like divorce without a full understanding of exactly what that means for them and all involved. Such consequential decisions should only be made with a clear head and heart. When to Divorce helps you look at the situation rationally and come to an informed decision.
Cathy, I read your book last night. I don’t know what to say except THANK YOU! I have not been happy in my marriage fora long and been thinking about divorce. I hadn’t been thinking about all that is covered in this book though. I had no idea what all is involved. I’ve made the decision to go ahead with the divorce and now I will know what to anticipate once I get the ball rolling. Thank you for making this information available.
Chris, good luck with everything. Put a lot of thought into it before you file for a divorce. If you haven’t already I suggest you try counseling with your wife. If you have and have made a definite decision, reread the book and keep it civil. Thanks!
I have a question I’m not sure about. I read the book and now I’m wondering what my chances of getting alimony is? I know I need to see an attorney but I thought you might give me some advice. I’ve been married for 28 years. I didn’t work cause I raised the children and took care of our house. My husband makes good money and we paid off our debt 5 years ago. If I file for a divorce what are my chances of him having to pay me alimony.
Thanks Amanda
The book was good and I learned alot, thank you.
Amanda, that isn’t a question I can answer for you. Whether or not you receive spousal support depends on your state’s divorce laws. Since you didn’t mention what state you are from I can’t help with there. The best advice I can give you is to hire an attorney who is experienced with midlife divorce, research state’s divorce laws as I suggested in the book and put together a legal plan that will help you protect all your legal rights.
I wish you the best. I encourage you to work on the marriage if that is possible. If not then, do your research, put every effort into making the divorce process civil and move on with your new life.
I have been miserable for about 6 years now and I have been waiting for my son to go to college. He will be graduating in about 6 months. My husband talks to me with so much disrespect. I never retaliated until the last few years.I tend to show him the same courtesy now. I am 40 and survived a deathly illness last year. During the most severe time, i was in respiratory failure and actively dying, my husband left me at the hospital and stopped at some friends for super bowl sunday dinner. He feels there was nothing wrong with this. My other friends and family who know of his behaviors didn’t tell me about this until recently. I was appalled and am now resentful. Our sex life doesn’t exist, nor have I been interested for quite a while. I find myself continuously fantasizing about the rest of my life without him and what I could and would do. Is it time?
Hi Susanne, only you can determine whether or not it is time. Have you and your husband seen a therapist? Have you gone on your own to try and come to terms with what is happening in the marriage? You said in your comment that you “tend to show him the same courtesy now.” You can’t fight fire with fire. If you want to change the dynamics in the relationship, it isn’t going to happen if you give him back the same negative behavior you feel he gives you.
I suggest you do some research on setting boundaries and limits with other people’s treatment toward you. If setting boundaries and commanding…not demanding respect from him doesn’t give you a positive result then it may be time to give you.
As for him going to friends for dinner while you were in the hospital. Sounds terrible!! Keep this in mind though, and I’m not trying to make excuses BUT if the stress of your illness was too much for him that stress may have spurred him into reacting in a disrespectful manner. That may be the best you can ever expect from him if that is the case.
My wife is a wonderful person. What seemed like a wonderful marriage has gone cold and the connection we had before seems to be gone. Sex has all but stopped. I’d started working shifts and due to a messed up sleep pattern became pretty grumpy and irritable. We’d got a puppy and as I’d expected, the combination of the shifts and the dog mean we stopped doing a lot of the things we used to do. I became quite angry inside partly due to her letting the dog do as it pleased and partly because she worries so much about stuff that doesn’t matter or hasn’t even happened. We talked and she brought up another issue. She now wants kids where before she’d always agreed we’d leave babies to other people. It’s dificult to see a future now that we want different things and our intimacy has gone. I really didn’t see this coming. It’s so sad. I can’t help think we should cut our losses while we’re still in our early thirties so that we have a good chance of both getting what we want out of life. I think I’d rather have adventures than be a dad but I’m not totally sure. Life is short and I don’t want either of us to waste it.